Popcorn and Twizzlers

Saw 2

I had avoided watching this movie because so many people said it was ridiculous and stupid, and, to be honest, I didn't see how they could improve upon the psychological suspense that was that first. Both me and my husband were stunned once we watched it. We were on vacation and my sister had a bunch of dvd's she left up there where we were staying. We hadn't seen it and didn't expect much of it. We were blinking hard as the credits rolled. That was GREAT! We couldn't believe how clever and imaginative the storyline was. It was pleasantly gory and suspenseful. Everything was so complex, yet so simple.

The movie felt dual-layered, or even multi-layered. We finally get to meet 'Jigsaw', and despite being a weakened cancer patient, he is imposing and interesting. His character is now 3-dimensional and you find yourself hanging on his words. Not only is John (aka Jigsaw) in the movie, but a whole bunch of characters command the screen, as opposed to the first, where it was just two men locked in a room together. This isn't a slasher flick like Nightmare on Elmstreet. Not really. The story introduces several characters to us, locked in a house in which nerve gas has been released. They have been breathing it in and have about 2 hours before their nervous systems shut down and they ooze blood from every orifice. Here's the thing: Jigsaw has thrown his 'adversary's' (a detective) son into the mix. There is a connection between those locked in the house (I'm not going to say what) and in order to live, they need to find antidotes hidden around the house. I don't feel I should tell you any more, but I will say that I liked it and if you liked the first Saw, you'll probably enjoy this one too.

And on to...The Hills Have Eyes

My review on this is going to be short and to the point: gory, heart-pounding, creepy, all around great movie....EXCEPT I was very disturbed, and not in a good way, at a particular scene. At one point, a gun is pointed on a baby. Maybe this wouldn't have disturbed me so deeply had I not recently had a very bad nightmare of someone blowing my daughter's head off or if the baby wasn't my daughter's age, or old enough not to be completely vulnerable. So many times through this movie, the sound of the baby crying just DISTURBED me. If I had been told of this scene, I would NOT have watched it. No, they did not harm the baby, but just the idea and the imagery of pointing a Magnum at a little babies head is too much for me to handle. Other than that, great movie. But, Mr. Wes Craven, here's the rule (for me at least): I don't care if it's fictional. NEVER, and I mean, NEVER, put a baby's life in jeopardy like that. OR, just don't put an innocent, vulnerable baby in a horror movie. I'm not typically weak-hearted or squimish. I was raised on horror movies. I've seen the worst of the worst--but don't do this to me, please! Thank you.

Tags: the hills have eyes, saw 2, review, wes craven, jigsaw

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Think of Florida and you will probably imagine theme parks and sunshine but there is so much more to this wonderful southern state. A 45 minute drive from the theme parks takes you to countryside very similar to the UK with rolling hills and oak trees. Here you are in horse breeding country. Travel south and take an airboat ride across the Everglades or take advantage of some of the best shopping opportunities in the USA. Have you thought about Orlando Rental Home? You can enjoy vintage homes in the historic neighborhoods of Thorton Park, Lake Eola Heights, Lake Lawsona, Lake Cherokee, and Lake Copeland. Downtown is trendy with diversity of restaurants, retailers, discos, and bars all within walking distance. With close access to beautiful Lake Eola, you can enjoy festivals, outdoor concerts, or a gondola ride on the Lake.

For those who want to see what Dave Chappelle was working on prior to his departure of the show, Comedy Central is now airing the "lost episodes" Sundays at 9PM. The overall feel of the show is different, especially since Donnell Rawlings and Charlie Murphy are now the hosts. In fact, it's not all that funny. The sketches that Dave did for season three feel like a watered down version of previous material. In seasons one and two, I would laugh until my sides hurt. There are only a few chuckles illicited from me during any given episode. This is not the "pure Dave Chappelle" that we were used to. I feel guilty even watching the show, considering Comedy Central is exploiting everything they can for every last dollar.

If you want to know more about why Dave left the show, read Dave Chappelle Speaks: 'I'm Not Crazy; I'm Not Smoking Crack'.

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Tags: comedy central, chappelle's show, dave chappelle, charlie murphy, donnell rawlings

USA's popular sci-fi drama, The 4400, is now in its third season. Since the pilot, the show explores recurring themes of prejudice, ethics, alienation, destiny, and free-will. The premise is that of 4400 people who have been snatched from their respective timelines and altered in the future, given special abilities by those in the future in order to prevent a major catastrophe that takes place in the future. While the science fiction current of this show is what draws its high ratings, it is also the way the characters are written with shades of gray and the just-below-the-surface play on powerful themes.



The 4400 are returned in a ball of light to the year 2003, making headlines in a major way. The returnees are no secret from the world and are viewed with fear and hostility even before their abilities start to emerge. They are treated as a threat by their own government, being turned over to quarantine at NTAC (National Threat Assessment Center). When they are finally released from quarantine, they not only have to deal with a life interrupted (many realizing their families have aged and died by the time they returned), they also have to deal with the fear and hatred of them. They are humans, certainly, but many view them as a threat to all humanity.

The idea is that these people were pulled out of their timelines and altered in order to play a part in the cosmic scheme of things, each contributing towards fixing whatever diaster awaits in the future. Are they really meant to be the world's saviors, or are they the catastrophe themselves? No one (including those who altered the 4400) can predict all of the variables that can influence and change the future. It could all be a guessing game, this manipulating of lives and genetics.

The People From the Future say there is a faction in their time who opposes The 4400 Experiment and will do anything to eliminate the 4400. So, who is right here? The answer is that no one knows for sure. Both factions may have the best intentions, but that does not mean they, or their methods, are right. As they say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". Who has the right to decide the future of others and tell them its "their destiny" to do one thing or another? How much evil can be done in the name of the greater good?

The opposing faction believes that the being they sent back in time, Isabelle, will do what they expect of her. In the present, Isabelle is looked upon as either a messiah or the end of the world. She has a multitude of powers and cannot be killed. Is she who the 4400 must stop in order to preserve the future or is she salvation? The 4400 explores this character as a 20-something girl who grew up from an infant overnight and has the mentality of a child. For example, while she was a baby, Isabelle ruptured her half-sisters spleen because she was jealous that her mother loved her other daughter too. When disagreed with, Isabelle can suffocate a person just by thinking it. Is she good or bad? Well, it's not as cut and dried as all that. Like anyone else, no one is simply "good" or "evil". All humans have good as well as evil in them, but learn how they will deal with the world through their experiences and their reactions to those experiences. We know "good" from "bad" based on our immediate environment, i.e. our parents.


Isabelle, however, grew up overnight into an adult. She does not have the benefit of experiences and growing from them. Her reactions are child-like in nature and destructive when she does not get what she wants. Does this make her bad? No. She just lacks many of the life lessons that most people accomplish that sets her mentality further down the scale than ours. It is possible for her to become evil, as it is possible for any human, given the right circumstances.

The show also focuses on the issues of morality. For example, Isabelle has killed three people and injured one. The question is whether this makes her evil. Her intentions were to save her love-interest, Shawn, and she did whatever was necessary and utilized the abilities within her to accomplish this. The people she killed (or is it murdered?) were terrorists, but does that make it right? Taking a human life for the right reasons and naming yourself judge and executioner is what they call 'vigilante justice'.

The 4400 shows us a world that is divided. People fear the 4400 and their abilities because they are different. The 4400 in turn, don't trust the government and some have become actively opposed to humans who do not accept them. Violence from all sides ensue, due to the prejudice of the unknown. Even the government fears the 4400 and what they are capable of. Not everyone believes that the 4400 are harmless. Honestly, if you lived next to a 4400 who could make your organs liquify just by thinking it, you'd be a little fearful, yourself. That doesn't excuse the actions of society or the 4400. No one comes from a cookie-cutter mold. While one 4400 may be part of a terrorist organization, another might be a school teacher adjusting to life with new and frightening abilities. Every individual is just that - an individual - and the writers illustrate this point softly, as an undercurrent theme, that people are not cut from the same cloth. Just because someone is different does not make them evil and being part of a certain demographic does not mean that everyone in that demographic (the 4400) is exactly the same. Shades of racism, alienation and prejudice play a big part in this show, portraying it from multiple viewpoints and scenarios.

Free-will is a major concept, too. Are the 4400 like cogs in a machine or can they decide the future just by the choices they make? The most powerful thing a person has is choice. No matter what, and no matter how bleak, humans always have a choice and the choices we make influence our lives and our future decisions. Whether Isabelle and the 4400 play their "desired roles" is yet to be seen.

The 4400 really isn't about "good vs. evil", but rather about the human condition and how it manifests to affect the world.

Please check out my articles on Associated Content. My profile and articles. Thanks so much. I have a review of X-Men 3. They turned down Bloodrayne and my article on the CW network, said no one would be interesting in the WB and UPN merging. Whatever. I also got a comment that said people need to be visiting my content more, so please do so. Really, the articles aren't that bad! :)


There are many effective, low-cost ideas to cut your cleaning time and what you spend on cleaning products in half. Place a plastic bowl filled with water in your microwave and set it for five minutes. The steam will do most of the work for you. Add a little degreaser to your mop bucket. It will pull stains off your kitchen floor better than going over the same spot twenty times. Use a sheet of Bounce to collect cat hair. Rubbing an area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

This is from Yahoo Movies:

Johnny Depp's boozy, woozy buccaneer Jack Sparrow has plundered the box office, with "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" taking in a record $132 million in its first three days, according to studio estimates Sunday.

Disney's swashbuckling sequel sailed past the previous all-time best debut, 2002's "Spider-Man," which took in $114.8 million in its first weekend.

"Dead Man's Chest" also did nearly three times the business of its predecessor, "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl," which took in $46.6 million over opening weekend in 2003.

The sequel surpassed that total in its first day alone, taking in $55.5 million Friday to beat the previous single-day record of $50 million, set last year by "Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith." With $44.7 million on Saturday, "Dead Man's Chest" also became the first movie to top $100 million in just two days.

Originally, I rolled my eyes at the mere mention of Disney turning one of their rides into a movie. I deemed it doomed. I've seen plenty of videogame-to-movie conversions fall flat on their faces (House of the Dead, Bloodrayne, etc.) and this just seemed like a step down from that. A Disney theme park ride converted into a big-budget movie? How was THAT going to work?

I figured Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (POTC for those who don't know--like LOTR) was going to tank in a matter a weeks. Then, I paid more attention to it. Johnny Depp would be playing Captain Jack Sparrow as a campy pirate wearing beads in his beard and MAKE-UP! I wondered if this was Depp being nutty and eccentric. Whether he was or not, Depp usually takes roles, in my opinion, that are unique and interesting; he doesn't take any role that comes along. He is very precise in his choosing, such as Edward Scissorhands, Donnie Brasco, Sleepy Hollow and Blow. Sure, earlier in his career, he played Jack Marshall in Private Resort or Cry-baby in the movie of the same title, but Depp has blossomed into an exceptionally talented actor, a true thesbian honing his craft. My respect for Depp and his choices regarding roles is such that when I noticed his name was attached to this "silly theme-action movie", I considered giving the movie a chance.

Then, the previews of POTC rolled out, starring none other than "my Legolas", Orlando Bloom, as Will Turner, in addition to Kiera Knightley. Now, just because a few big names are in the opening credits doesn't mean much, but this trio, in addition to the popping and exhilarating previews caused me to want to see this movie, hoping it would live up to the hype. It did live up to the hype and its Box Office pull for the movie...$305,411,224. Pretty good for an indoor boat ride attraction, eh?

Three years later, I am happily typing my review of POTC: Dead Man's Chest and am ecstatic to report that there will be a third installment, simply called Pirates of the Caribbean 3 at this moment, due out summer of 2007.

This sequel is, dare I say, better than the first. Curse of the Black Pearl was necessary and without it, Dead Man's Chest wouldn't be what it is. It is a perfect sandwich in the POTC trilogy, following the storyline from the first seamlessly and maintaining the same flavor of humor and witty repartee as its predecessor. Although a bit more graphic and straining against its PG-13 rating, the movie has you laughing at the perfectly placed jokes and watching avidly. The movie is long (2 hrs and 31 minutes) but it doesn't feel that way. The smooth conversions and tightly coiled storyline reels you into this world of swashbuckling pirates and supernatural enemies (as well as human ones).

Depp seems to live in the skin of Captain Jack Sparrow and you can tell he really enjoys playing the foppish vagabond. He saunters about in his effeminate way, flashing gold teeth and trying to talk his way out of everything. Somehow, Depp again turns a cowardly scoundrel of a pirate into a much beloved character, despite his nappy hair, eye makeup and lack of personal hygiene, as Elizabeth pointed out.

This maritime setting would not be possible without the exquisitely intricate and beautiful tall ships, such as the Endeaver, the Dauntless, the Flying Dutchman and the Black Pearl (played by the Lady Washington) are exquisite against the foil of the turquoise, crystalline perfection of the ocean. These ships are a facet of the pirate legends and stories. Check out Tall Sails Adventure for more stories about pirates and information on tall ships, like those used in Pirates of the Caribbean 2. For extensive pictures taken in Jamaica and information on the production of the ships whilst POTC 2 was being filmed, click here.

This is not just a rehash on the first movie, but a clever extension of it. It's wacky, funny, grim, gory, and all around an exciting, fun romp with twists that are cohesive. Plenty of characters and pirates from the previous film are back again, stealing the show in their smaller parts. And yes, even that adorable undead monkey is back. The effects are just as spectacular, more so, and fall into my 'elite special effects' category that includes War of the Worlds, Jurassic Park and Lord of the Rings. When the technology is so well-blended that one forgets that a giant squid tenticle or dinosaur isn't real, the movie does so much more for the viewer in terms of creating a unique and unforgettable world.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the many creative fight scenes. I don't want to spoil anything, so I won't go into details, but let me just say that you can swashbuckle pretty much anywhere and anyplace in this film. The actions sequences are intense while at the same time being highly amusing. All the elements that you loved from the first installment are here, as well as an intriguing story. Plus, Dead Man's Chest has the advantage of not having to introduce our characters or set up the exposition. Since this is a continuing story, you get to skip past all the "prerequisites" and get thrown immediately into the plot, the action, the drama. This will undoubtedly be the summer's most entertaining film, perhaps even the year's. It's compelling, exciting and faithful to the characters and the story. It will not disappoint fans of Jack...I mean Captain Jack Sparrow and Co.

In related news, Johnny Depp Added to Disney Ride. The likeness of him is surreal. :)

"Hello. My name is Violet. I was born into a world you may not understand. I'll start at the beginning. Everything changed when a government lab discovered a virus that caused genetic mutation. They used it to create faster and stronger soldiers. The problem was we became a threat. Those of us who survived extinction started fighting back." -- Violet Song jat Shariff







The virus spoken of in Violet's narrative is called 'hemophagia'. The effects are similar to becoming a vampire, and because of the elongated teeth accompanied by the aforementioned virus, victims of it are referred to as vampires. They are faster, stronger, and physically superior to humans, except for sensitivity to sunlight and an abbreviated lifespan. Violet herself was given twelve years to live once she became infected. With the vampires on the brink of extinction and having a very short life span, they are willing to take plenty of risks, as Milla Jovovich aptly portays in Ultraviolet.

Although the above quote is pared down, Violet also says things about "camps" for those that are infected with the virus, being exterminated. Violet raps angrily, "I got sick and now I'm worthy of extermination". Echoes of the Holocaust ripple through this feature, giving you a shiver as you hear the words roll over your mind. The whole premise of the movie is based around the war between humans and "Hemophages" (aka vampires). Violet is a singular Hemophage warrior battling the totalitarian dictator Daxus (Nick Chinlund) who is determined to wipe out her species at any cost.

The exact date is never given to us, but it's clear by the technology and the architecture that it's meant to be somewhere around the late 21st century. Violet has plenty of nifty toys, such as a gravity leveler that gives her the ability to walk on ceilings and walls and even ride a motorcycle along the side of a skyscraper. The effects are not the best I've ever seen, but certainly not amateur at all. You believe in the moment what you are seeing and that's a motorcycle driving UP a skyscraper (or down or across).

Violet has the task of rescuing a secret weapon: a boy named Six (Cameron Bright ala Godsend and The Butterfly Effect). At first she is cold and harsh with the boy, as she is with everyone. The loss of her human life has left her jaded and she doesn't allow herself to have emotions. As Violet rasps to Six, "Park it. Don't make me tell you twice", it's hard to imagine a softer side to her character. As she spends more time with Six, the emergence of a fierce and protective mama bear is evident, as is her growing affection for the enigmatic child. He evolves from being merely a package, to being "a human child". Both sides of the war urge her to "destroy" him and she flatly and disgustedly refuses, meeting any challenge to protect him. The way this movie handles Violet's miscarriage and reemergence of her maternal emotions is beautiful and striking.

Their are many action sequences in Ultraviolent, designed by Mike Smith to combine multiple martial arts disciplines, such as jujitsu and aikido. The results are quick, sleek, and right on the mark. Clever choreography of the gun fights, hand-to-hand combat and sensational swordfights are reminiscent of Kill Bill, perhaps better. Each is executed in a creative new way so the action never gets stall or predictable.

If you liked The Matrix, Kill Bill, or Aeon Flux you will love this movie. Shades of all three films can be seen, although not overused or overdone. The effects are dictated by the script. They fall into the right moments and add an extra element of surrealism to your palate.

Angel was a darker, more serious incarnation that spun off from the Buffyverse. It featured Angel, the vampire with a soul, the flighty Cordelia, and a boozing, but sexy Irishman [originally]. The show never felt like a copycat of Buffy. It had its own message, and while the show wasn't what you'd call educational television, it was an incredibly witty and cryptic show. It's humor caught you off guard at just the right moments and the episodes managed to live in the world of Buffy, yet stand on its own two feet. Each season became more enigmatic and intricate. Unlike Buffy, there was no "creature of the week". Every episode stood as a piece of the complex tale of Angel, a vampire still tormented by the his past, struggling to redeem himself and quelling his inner demons. Angel's past was always linked into the show, whether it be a flashback of murders he had committed, or an enemy met while living in the skin of Angelus, his soulless, murdering alter-ego. The interweaving tapestry of Angel's history, combined with well-written and evolving characters and storylines was power and attracted fans of the genre.

Fans were more than unhappy when it was announced that the current season on their screens (Season 5) would be the last one. There were rumors since the end of the third season that Angel might not make it and fans let out a breath of relief each time the WB made the right decision and kept the show on. Eventually, the WB made the wrong decision.

A new version of Dark Shadows was planned, called Barnabas Undead, which was to air in 2004 and take the place of our beloved Angel. Having been a big fan of the 1991 Revival Series, I would have been okay with the way the WB mishandled Angel...maybe. However, things didn't turn out as planned.

"There was a director assigned to it, Rob Bowman, who was a terrific director," Garth Ancier of the WB said. "He pulled out to do a feature film. We had a new director come in who was accomplished in movies, but frankly didn't do a particularly good job, and the rest is history."

Basically, the WB salivated over a big-time director being attached to Barnabas Undead, and when he pulled out, the WB dropped the project like a hot rock, leaving us with...nothing. No Dark Shadows, and they cancelled Angel for no valid reason. Angel was doing pretty good in ratings, the quality of the show was only getting better with the arrival of Illyria, a demon who had taken over Fred's body and had powers such as creating portals and slowing down time and well, being REALLY strong. I named my daughter after her and any time a fellow fan hears her name, they exclaim: "Like the blue smurf demon? Oh my GOD, that is SO cool!" Yeah, some of us fans are a bit hardcore.

If the show had to be cancelled, fans would have liked the WB to give Angel the time to play out its story arc successfully. Instead, in the last six episodes, you can see what was meant to span months turn into six episodes of quick-quick-quick. For example, Illyria was supposed to be an enemy of Angel & Co. for awhile before losing her powers and becoming an ally. Lots of loose ends had to be tied quickly. Overall, the show just had to scramble to try to leave the viewer with the best ending they could with the limited amount of time they had left. Unfortunately, almost any Angel fan you ask will tell you that a) the last few episodes were rushed and really took out a lot of elements of the show that we loved. There just wasn't time for witty repartee and build-up. It felt like scrambling. And b) the season finale was disappointing and not right for the send-off of the show.

Enraged fans everywhere blame Jordan Levin, the WB executive who is known to fans as "the guy who cancelled Angel" and "the guy who didn't pick up Dark Shadows 2004,". May Wolfram & Hart have mercy on his soul. Joss Whedon tries to placate fans of his show by saying that this ending was exactly what he had wanted. He's posturing and telling an outright lie, as he's done many times to throw fans off, such as when he said "Buffy and Spike WILL NOT ever be together. We've done the vampire and slayer thing once already". Then, what do you know, Spike and Buffy are together for numerous seasons right after Joss told us he wouldn't be going down this road. I do believe that the message of the finale was what he always wanted to do, but the events leading up to it were not planned ahead, considering they didn't know the show was going axed in favor of Dark Shadows. You could see all his carefully developed sub-plots suddenly pack themselves up and join a huge story line for the finale that attempted to encompass all of Angel's messages and leave you thinking. Joss Whedon did the best he could for the show's ending, and unfortunately, it wasn't enough for fans of his show.

Is there any chance either show will be resurrected? Very doubtful. Angel's David Boreanaz is already on Bones on FOX, and I believe at least a few of the other actors have moved on to different projects.

When a show is abruptly cancelled, do you wonder what the writers had in store for the next season? I certainly do. Shows like Angel and Tru Calling did not have a chance to smooth out storylines and give you a sense of closure, leaving the viewer to ponder What Would Have Happened On...? Carey's got the interview Joss Whedon gave regarding the demise of Angel.This blog fills you in on what was meant to grace our screens, but never did. The blog details the unwritten, unaired "what would have been" next seasons on Eerie, Indiana, Nightmare Cafe, Everwood, Joan of Arcadia, Quantum Leap, Wonderfalls, and Dark Angel, just to a name a few.

If you've been missing NBC's Treasure Hunters, you've been missing a highly competitive game between teams from all walks of life. You have Ex-CIA, Air Force, Southie Boys, Geniuses, Grad Students, Miss USA, Brown Family, Wild Hanlons, Young Professionals, and finally, the backstabing Fogal family. Yes, tricks and sneaky tactics abound on this show, especially from the Fogals, whose leader Brad is a senior pastor at his church. His wife, Margie, seems like a sweet PTA mother. She doesn't seem to have a sharp mind, but she is quite lacking in a conscience. Their daughter, Kayte, barely registers with her prescence, but how can she, considering her parents garner attention from the camera and the other teams with their dirty play tactics.

This game is all about competition and as far as I'm concerned, pretty much anything goes. The only reason I'm bashing upon the Fogal family is because they aren't playing it smart. To be truly sneaky, everyone must trust you. You should not blatantly grab someone else's clue and run off or tell two other teams to bank on the river to check something out, then paddle like the devil is behind you. If any of those teams had been near last place, that would have made sense, but the Browns and The Hanlons were at least an hour behind them, so there was no worries about being eliminated. Pull out your bag of tricks when its necessary and when you can get away with it. A snake in the grass doesn't reveal themselves until they strike and if the Fogal family wants to play their strategy this way, they'll soon be ousted.

On the last episode of Treasure Hunters, the Fogals, as well as Team Air Force, were indeed ousted. The game this time was for one team to pair up with another and work together to get two separate clues, bring them together, and finally open a box with the final clue. All six other teams allied against the Fogals in particular, shouting, "We've Fogaled the Fogals!" Clearly, the other teams are not going to fall for any more underhanded tricks from this devout Christian family.

Are the other teams any better? Well...here and there a team will pull something, such as getting one team to give them a combination and "work together" for it, but then not tell the other team what it was even though they have nothing to gain by withholding information. The Grad Students couldn't catch a break in the first episode, due to the Fogals stealing their underwater clue and then The Geniuses stealing their other clue, leaving them with a box that was thought to have a broken and unopenable lock. The other teams utilize the opportunites given to them, but not like that happy-smiling Fogal family, who are vicious and blatant about it at every turn. Yes, the show is pretty much anything goes, but its kind of hard to see a man of god be such a seemingly nice guy one moment, and in the next playing the remorseless "cheater" (I use quotes because there aren't set rules). In fact, Brad seems so concerned with winning, he barely noticed when his daughter injured her thumb or when she dropped the canoe in exhaustion. He doesn't seem to think of his family as anything more than tools to use. I honestly don't feel any love between members of the Fogal clan.

Expect to see more of their questionable tactics Mondays at 9pm on NBC.

Eliminated teams: The Young Professionals were the first to go, having lost a lot of time by heading to Mt. Roosevelt instead of Mt. Rushmore. The Browns were eliminated, but later reinstated due to Grad Students dropping out of the competition. Jessica hurt her leg during the hunt, completed the hunt with her teammates Kat and Melissa. She finally threw in the towel when she was told by the orthopedic surgeon that if she continued on with this very physical game, she would be facing surgery and possibly life-long complications with her ankle. The most recently eliminated were The Wild Hanlons, after failing to figure out the combination to their box and trying to randomly guess it. I'm sorry to see them go because although they are not worthy of being called Treasure Hunters, their stupid antics were hilarious. They might not have been eliminated had they not, as Josh said, "drive 80 miles round-trip to get a hamburger during an elimination competition". Yes, they really drove 40 miles away mid-competition to Burger King.

If you haven't given this show a chance yet, please do. It's quite fun to root for your team, or see what strategies are going to be employed next. And can you believe that Miss USA (all three of them DIDN'T ever win Miss USA title) is STILL in the running. They're flying under the radar.



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Superman Returns starts out with a paragraph prologue, explaining where the movie starts, essentially. The original score cues up and your skin gets goosebumps. How right that they keep the original theme! We soon discover that Superman, as well as Clark Kent, have been gone for years, visiting his dead home planet, Krypton. Both return in a blaze of fire at his adoptive mother's house (Eva Marie Saint).

We follow Clark as he returns to the Daily Planet and discovers that a lot of things have changed. During his "soul searching", Lois had a child and got engaged to her editor's nephew, Richard White (James Marsden). Superman also discovers that the crime rate has risen and that Lex Luthor was appealed due to Superman not being there to be a witness. More and more we feel the weight on Superman's shoulders burdened by his act of "abandoning" the world. And no one felt more abandoned than Lois, who won a Pulitzer for her article, "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman".

After this depressing return home of finding his true love has moved on, what's next for Superman? Well, what he usually does -- help the world. In a blur of scenes, Superman randomly saves people and rights wrongs. It comes off as rather tedious and predictable...and then we are giving a new facet of Superman: The Peeping Tom. That's right! Throughout the movie, Superman uses his powers for frivalous spying on Lois Lane and her family in their home, peering through the walls with his x-ray vision and using her supersonic hearing to listen in on their conversation. Superman doesn't even look guilty after doing this, which doesn't strike true with fans of the character.

Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) visits the Fortress of Solitude and learns everything about Superman's past and the crystals within the chamber. He learns all this through the image of Jor-El, played by Marlon Brando via archive footage. As his scheme unfolds, one crinkles their brow with confusion. Lex Luthor is coming off as one-note, and more dreadfully, he's coming off boring. His whole plan is a viable one, but it just seems a stupid idea from the evil genius. Spacey usually plays multi-layered, extremely fascinating characters, so when you see his name in the credits you assume that his portrayal of Luthor is going to be the best yet. It's not. Luthor doesn't even feel menacing or clever. Instead, the character romps about putting his plans in order like a rich kid all grown up while Superman is completely aware of his "devious" plan.

Bryan Singer directed Superman Returns, giving the film that witty humor we remember from the first two installments of X-Men. We also get plenty of nods to the past films, including direct quotes from the original. One would be hard-pressed to not notice that Superman Returns is an homage to its predecessors.

On the whole, the movie has a very angst-ridden quality to it. In fact, this goes on for the first hour and a half. Superman spies on Lois unbeknownst to her, angonizes on love lost. Lois doesn't let Superman or Clark off the hook for abandoning her for years without even saying goodbye. Its obvious she still has feelings for both but doesn't want to let either back into her life more than she has to.

By the time the real action arrives, people are falling asleep or just wishing it was over. There was no reason for this to go on and on. The confrontation with Luthor at the end seems rushed, even though the movie itself is a good two and a half hours long. Most of the screentime went to the subtle nods to the previous films and the confused turmoil of the Lois/Superman and Lois/Clark relationship.

The biggest slap in the face, for me, is that in all the comics, movies, and on the tv show, Superman immediately is weakened and pained when near kryptonite. All Lex Luthor had to do in the movies was open the lead box with the kryptonite inside and Superman would feel it's effects. In Returns, Superman is standing on a huge island made completely of crystal and kryptonite...and he has NO CLUE until someone punches him. This is just ridiculous to me. Superman would be sputtering and writhing immediately around a tiny piece of kryptonite AND an entire ISLAND of kryptonite!!!!

The actors do their best in Return and I do not begrudge them for the longwinded essence of their characters. Lois is fresh-faced and fiesty with Kate Bosworth in the role. She does not portray an overall toughness to Lois, but she also doesn't let people step all over her or tell her what to do. Kevin Spacey did the best he could with the role before him and Parker Posey is adorable as whiny Kitty Koslowski.

How does Brandon Routh fair playing the iconic Man of Steel? Decent. He looks strikingly similar to Christopher Reeve and attempts to emulate those performances, but due to the script and lack of facial nuances from Routh, Superman is flat and under-developed. He seems as though he is simply trying to mimic Reeve...and failing at it. The sweet, good-heartedness of Reeve's portrayal is absent in Routh's. Despite all the scenes that focus on the relationship between Clark/Superman and Lois, you never really feel connected to how Clark is feeling and that makes the scene tiring to watch.

Some were disappointed with the choice of Routh when it was announced. After all, Christopher Reeve himself appeared on several episodes of Smallville and effectively "passed the torch" to Tom Welling, whose portrayal of a young Clark living in Smallville had revived interest in Superman once again. There are those who doubt that Superman Returns would have been greenlit at the time it was if it had not been for the overall good ratings for Smallville, whose audiences are mostly female.

Perhaps we're "all superheroed out". The script of Returns, written by Dan Harris and Michael Dougherty, follows pretty closely to Spider-man: Superhero is in love with fiesty girl-next-door type, but cannot reveal his secret identity, therefore pining after her in secret while saving the world one person at a time. Maybe if the bar hadn't been raised so high with films like Daredevil, X-Men, and X2, Returns could have been considered more interesting. Unfortunately, the movie feels generic, formulaic, and most importantly, quite a bit boring.

Do you want another opinion?Susan has done a review of this as well, and though I obviously don't feel the same way, her review conjures up memories of the Superman legend. Her whole blog, in fact, is quite interesting and worthy of your time. Anyway, her Superman Returns review is here.

Did Kate Bosworth look too skinny?

Blade: The Series contains language, violence and other content that may not be suitable for all audiences. No kidding! There is plenty of action and gore, starting right from the top. We see a heavily decorated officer in Moscow being pursued by a dark man on a motorcycle, heavily weaponed. Eventually, we get our first glimpse of the new Blade, played by Kirk "Sticky" Jones, as a black leather trenchcoat sweeps over black boots. Blade quickly overtakes the officer, lodging the own man's fire ax into his leg. I smile with glee as the exquisitely gory blood spurts upwards from the wound.

Now, I must warn you, this review is going to be descriptive of all aspects of the episode, so if you are not interested in being spoiled...this review is not for you.

Still interested? Okay. Blade gets the officer in Russia to tell him the whereabouts of Marcus Van Sciver, demanding to know where he's dumping the bodies. Huh? It's called a plot hook and now you want to know more.

We continue our story in Detroit, Michigan (though the show is filmed in Vancouver). I have to admit, although I knew I didn't recognize any of the architechture or streets, they did a good job of presenting this as Detroit (I live a few miles away from Detroit, so you can take my word for it). Sadly, I don't feel that Detroit was misrepresented. In fact, they speak elegantly of not forgetting the past of Detroit and make mentions to the Joe Louis Arena. The vampire who talks about it is very moving in his dialogue about the history of the buildings and the city that was built upon the auto industry. I was very pleased that they conveyed Detroit realistically, but didn't talk about the place in a derogative way. Just a little aside here: NONE of the prostitutes in Detroit look like those featured. High-class hookers simply don't walk the streets of Detroit.

Moving on...Blade the series stays true to the trilogy and the comics. Blade's car is the same as in the movies, tattoos appear identical, and Summerfield (blind scientist from Blade: Trinity) was even mentioned by Blade's new gadget-man, Shen. Sorry to disappoint audiences, but Whistler's daughter Abigail is not in the show, nor is the much-loved Hannibal King. He provided such good comic relief and I was really hoping they would use the character to work a little humor in here and there. Nope, sorry.

We meet Krista Starr, recently home from a tour. She finds out her little brother is dead (ala officers doling the news at her welcome home party) and that he was shot. The detective in charge of the case, Boone, doesn't seem to be pursuing it. Of course, Krista decides to pursue Zach's death herself. She is lured by an eerie voice in the dark, telling her he knows who killed her brother. She follows the voice and is attacked by three vampires. Blade swoops in and saves the day with his typical finesse while Krista futilely snaps off shots on her pistol.

Later, Krista finds Danny, someone who was arrested with her brother prior to his death. He drops a vial before escaping her. She noticed the tattoo on his neck and, get this, Googles the symbol. She comes across a listing for Professor Melvin Caylo and decides to check him out.

When we meet Caylo, we see a quiet, serious man...in the form of Randy Quaid. I NEVER pictured Quaid like this, but he aptly pulls off his cameo (?), filling new viewers and Krista on what the symbol means -- its a glyph for vampire familiars, humans who do the bidding of vampires -- and fills her in on who Blade is, a "daywalker" (though Caylo doesn't use that term) who is a half-breed with all the strengths of vampires and none of their weaknesses, save for the thirst. He also explains the vial she found. It is vampiric ash, an expensive product for humans that give them vampiric abilities for about an hour or two. Neat.

We get little peeks at some sort of experiment being done by vampires on vampires. They talk of a vaccine, inject said vaccine, then inject garlic. It's pretty obvious they are trying to eliminate their weaknesses. We see plenty of plastic-wrapped vampire "test subjects" for this cause.

Krista tracks down Blade, in a way. She meets the new gadget-man, an assertive Asian in his mid-twenties who is constantly insisting that his inventions always work. She checks out Blade and Shen's "lair", looking over their toys, including a "shock gun" and asks: "Isn't this a little elaborate?" Hehe. Yeah. It is, but fans love it. She goes on to ask about crosses and holy water and Blade quickly dispels those myths.

Blade, Shen, and Krista hatch a plan to infilitrate the musuem gala that Marcus Van Sciver is hosting. Sciver is a prominent businessman who has revived this old building and is also, you guessed it, an elite vampire. The plan is to put a small transpoder (tracking device) on Sciver. Sciver lets Krista play her song and dance undercover operation for a minute or two, then reveals he knows exactly who she is. Angrily, she leaves the building.

When Sciver, who looks like a more polished version of Doogie Howser) exits the gala, a man hands him Krista's earpiece, saying she left it for him. She's atop a building with a sniper rifle. They conversationally play caught and mouse, Krista assuring him of her skills, but not taking the silver bullet shot. Her attempt is again thwarted, this time by Chase, a beautiful platinum blonde vampire who looks eerily like a younger version of Hudson Leick (of Xena fame, playing Callisto). Chase knocks Krista out and takes her hostage. Blade arrives too late to save her.

Sciver, now looking sexy in a silk black rope and a strip of sleek flesh showing, taunts Krista as she struggles against her bonds holding her arms above her head, looking very much like a virgin sacrifice in a white dress. Explaining that vampires are more civilized than she realizes, he draws his blood with a syringe and injects it into our neck. Sciver (pronounced Sky-ver) takes her unconscious body and throws it off the top of the building.

Krista awakes frantically inside a body bag at the morgue. The security guard on duty hears her struggles and she almost bites him, then scurries out of the building, trying to quench her thirst with muddy water and rain. Sciver smiles invitingly at her, then takes her back to his building. When she awakens, her mind is cloudy, she feels more "alive" and sunlight burns her. Sciver, imparting his vampiric wisdom, tells her that the dream she had of him was ADE, After Death Experience, triggered by the genetic memories of her sponser (meaning him) and that they are sacred. He speaks of the society of vamires, how it is the only true living and that she is now this.

Sciver sees to it that sexy vamp vixen Chase shows a seemingly mind-addled Krista the ropes, including how to see the invisible vampiric glyphs. Chase also warns Krista from ever going near the House of Leichen. Clearly, vampires have different castes and Houses (Chase and Marcus belong to House of Chthon).

Blade coerces Danny to tell him who would know where to find someone who "disappeared", leading him to Boone, the vampire familiar who has been feeding prostitutes to the test subjects. Blade follows Boone to the facility (American Butchers--too funny) and comes upon the test subjects, who attack him and hold up his rescue mission. He is determined to find Krista before she feeds.

Sciver lets his second-in-command, Fritz, be injected with the new vaccine.

Blade comes upon Krista feeding on her first kill -- Boone. She hates him for brushing her brother's death under the rug and for being a part of his death. Before Blade can get to Krista, he is attacked and being shot at. Eventually, he manages to inject Krista with the synthetic serum to "clear her mind", as she's been behaving like she's in a dream and follows whatever she's told.

Blade is attacked by Fritz and is dismayed to find he is immune to silver. Weakened and knowing the fight is lost, Blade escapes the facility, leaving Krista behind. When he returns in daylight, everyone is gone, including the test subjects.

Krista tests out her vampiric abilities, jumping from one rooftop to one hundreds of feet away. She finds herself at her brothers grave, contemplative of her new identity, struggling with it. Blade comes upon her and tells her that he wants to work with her, that she is in deep with the elite society of vampires, and that her brother was his contact before her. She accepts.

In the final scene, we see the traitorous Boone awaken as a vampire. He's been begging Sciver to be "made", to wit Sciver would angrily explain that Boone was not worthy of being a vampire. He laughs happily...until he realizes he is a vampiric test subject. Oh, too bad!

Now that I've recapped the episode, I'd like to say that I think the writers did a good job with this pilot and of balancing the backstory of the Blade series, while still providing an interesting and fresh plot. All the characters on the canvas are interesting and well-written. You feel their history, even though you don't yet know it. Chase let one snippet about her go to Krista: "My husband made me...and has lived to regret it".

Although slow-going at first, you soon become deeply immersed in the story and hang on to every word. Spike TV brought in 2.5 Million viewers with The Blade pilot and I'm sure the ratings will continue to please the network. I certainly will continue to watch, particularly because of Chase, played by Jennifer Gower. Jill Wagner is believable and likeable as Krista, and although Jones feels a little stiffer than the Wesley Snipes' Blade, he still feels authentic. If you liked the movie trilogy and/or the comics, you're bound to enjoy Blade: The Series.

****NOTE**** For one week, iTunes users can now download a FREE copy of the two-hour premiere of SPIKE TV's first original scripted series: "Blade: The Series". New episodes will be available on iTunes the day after their premiere on-air.

Two struggling networks, UPN and The WB, have decided merge their companies and form a new network, The CW (the C for CBS and the W standing for Warner Bros). Both networks have had a few successful shows, but mostly they were small fish in an ocean of sharks like ABC. The network will debut September 18, 2006 and will have a mixed line-up from The WB and UPN's more popular shows. The line-up includes well-received shows from UPN -- Everybody Hates Chris, Girlfriends, America's Next Top Model, Veronica Mars, and Smackdown. The WB's contributions for CW are: Gilmore Girls, Smallville, Supernatural, One Tree Hill and 7th Heaven.

I believe that UPN's viewship deflated when it lost Star Trek: Voyager, Roswell and finally, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. These were what attracted a large audience, even though BtVS and Roswell were not originally a part of UPN. The only show that really held UPN afloat afterwards was the largely popular Smackdown. UPN never could find its niche. Was it a sci-fi network, a comedy network? The WB, on the other hand, was bogged down with production costs for their sci-fi dramas. It was quite expensive for the effects on BtVS, which ultimately led to UPN purchasing it. Despite a huge campaign of fans sending bottles of tasbasco sauce to The WB in an effort to save Roswell, the show was cancelled and picked up by UPN.

UPN lacked good shows that captured viewers, while The WB was struggling financially despite a range of high-rated shows, such as Angel and Gilmore Girls. The production costs for 7th Heaven continued to grow, due to the rising price of the actors, now in their 10th year. It was speculated that 7th Heaven would finally be axed after a decade because although it pulled in ratings for the network, the budget was becoming overwhelming. With the merge of UPN and The WB, the decision has been put to rest to give 7th Heaven an 11th season.

Gilmore Girls has also danced with the question, "Will there be another season?" For now, the answer is yes. The show had lost a number of viewers in the third season when Rory went off to college. There was less innocence about the show and it felt stiff seeing the two main characters, Lorelai and her daughter Rory, talking to one another over the phone. Gone were Rory's private school outfits and long hair, gone was Rory's best friend Lane always around. Don't get me wrong, the characters were all still on the show, but it had a different vibe with Rory living an hour away at Yale and the mother/daughter bond stretched thin, with Lorelai busying opening her inn (The Dragonfly) and Rory adjusting to college.

Despite critical acclaim and numerous wonderful reviews, Veronica Mars failed to reach many viewers and Smackdown seemed to be the only heavy-hitter for UPN. With one network failing on the budget side and the other failing to captivate audiences with its programming, it seems more than logical for the two to merge, creating a good mixture of a line-up that will entice viewers to watch shows they might not have otherwise. If you'll notice, Gilmore Girls will be premiering Tuesday at 8pm, it's original timeslot on The WB, followed by Veronica Mars to help "prop" the following show. This tactic is used quite often by networks, putting the more popular show on first and the one that needs help right after. Viewers seem to watch what follows a popular show. I can't say why. I wouldn't be surprised if we caught a few pop-culture references on Gilmore Girls regarding Veronica Mars. The WB did this same thing with having Jen on Dawson's Creek mention that she had to go home because "Roswell is on in 5 minutes". And guess what? It did help a little with Roswell's viewership.

So, just a reminder, The CW kicks off September 18th and if you want to check out their grab bag of shows or watch episode clips, or just check out their line-up, go to The CW Television Network.

Bloodrayne has the potential to be a juicy, intriguing and visually stunning movie about vampire lore. Bloodrayne was originally a video game by Majesco that spawned into a big budget movie, featuring Kristanna Loken as Rayne(you might remember her as the sexy T-X in Terminator 3). Being a fan of the game and its premise, I was hopeful that the movie would be just as fun and exciting. Sadly, it falls short of the mark. This movie could have been all I hoped for had it been written intelligently
and had an interesting plot.


It takes place in eighteenth century Romania. Rayne is a dhampir -- half-human, half-vampire. She has weaknesses of vampires (such as an 'allergy' to water) and strength of humans (she can touch a cross). Her character is hell-bent on avenging her mother's rape by her father. Now, in addition to her 'blood rage' when she gets a taste of blood, this has the elements of being a terrific movie -- it's just not. The plot jumps around and is never consistent and you really don't care at all about the heroine or any one else in the film. The antagonist is a two-dimensional King of the Vampires named Kagan, i.e. her father, of course. Kagan wants an amulet, Rayne wants it because she doesn't want him to have it. Argh. It just seems like 18th century teenage rebellion.



Loken's other castmates include Sebastion, Vladimir, and Katarin of the Brimstone
society -- vampire hunters. Katarin is played by Michelle Rodriguez. Honestly, I like
Rodriguez, but it's absolutely hilarious to see her attempt to pull off an old English
accent. Again, Rodriguez doesn't try to expand her range. She yet again plays
'The Tough Girl', as we've seen in Girl Fight, Blue Crush, and more recently on LOST.
It's disappointing to say the least.

Sebastian, played by Matthew Davis, is of course, Rayne's love interest -- though you
don't realize it until they are having sex. There is no lead-up to this. No real
conversations between them, no longing looks, no CHEMISTRY whatsoever. You're
watching the movie, hoping it will get better and suddenly have a more interesting
plot, when all of a sudden, Rayne jumps Sebastion in the dungeons. It comes off as
very pornographic and not really relevant to the story, other than to FORCE the
viewers to believe they have some bond.

Everything plays out in a very formulaic way. The story falls dead pretty much as
soon as it starts. I AGAIN say that this could have very well been a great movie,
had a great writing team been put behind it. This was pure teenage boy gratification
and nothing more. The only high note for me was the appearance of Billy Zane (oddly
enough, as Michelle Rodriguez' father). I have no idea why he would take a small part
in this atrocious movie or attach his name to it in any way. I'm ashamed that I even
watched this piece of garbage all the way through to the end.

My advice: Play the video game. Don't watch the movie -- and I use that term
EXTREMELY loosely.
 

(Boston Public)
Harry Senate:


Thanks. Uh...what a turnout. Thanks for choosing me. The idea of being
able to serve..uh...Well, of all the causes to take up...AIDS, cancer, hunger,
poverty...I've always felt there was something special about people who
commit themselves to guns. Anyone, I suppose, could contribute to a shelter
or help the needy but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms.
And you know what, we need people like you. Our country is getting a bad
rap just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly--shooting people. The
United States...this is where men live. Australia? All their stupid bragging
about how tough they are in the outback? They get about 15 gun homicides a
year, what the hell is that? We get 10,000. The Japanese are even more
pathetic. In 1999, for kids between 15 and 19, they didn't have one handgun
murder. Not one! We had over 5,000. Our teenagers are tough. But it can't
happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands and for that we need
committed, good people like all of you. We got these idiots in Washington who
think it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles. The stupid Democrats think
we should have 10-day waiting periods. Well, what happens if you need to kill
someone today? Next thing, the government will try to crack down on incest
and we won't be able to breed future N.R.A. members. I mean, we're talking
about the toothless illiterates that make this country great. This is America...Get a gun.

********************************************************************
(Army of Darkness)
Ashley J. 'Ash' Williams:

Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick!
It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can
find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was
made in Grand Rapids, Michigan; retails for about one hundred nine, ninety-five.
It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop
smart, shop S-Mart!

****************************************************************
(National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
Clark W. Griswold:

I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from
his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane, with all the other rich
people, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head. And,
I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying,
no good, rotten, floor-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred,
overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless,
heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of
monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holly Shit! Where's the Tylenol?

************************************************************************
(Fight Club)
Tyler Durden:

[I] see in Fight Club, the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see
all this potential. And, I see squandering. God damn it! An entire generation
pumping gas, waiting tables: slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing
car and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're
the middle children of history, man--no purpose or place. We have no great war.
No great depression. Our great war's a spiritual war. Our great depression is our
lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires
and movie gods and rock stars . . . but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact
and we're very, very pissed off.

*************************************************************************
(Fight Club)
Tyler Durden:

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're
not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not you fucking
khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

*****************************************************************************
(Mallrats)
Rene Mosier:

I have always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you asked
me to do a striptease to the theme from Mighty Mouse, I said okay. When we
were at that hotel prom night, and you asked me to sleep underneath the bed in
case your mother burst in, I did it. And, even when we were at my grandmother's
funeral and you told most of my relatives that you could see her nipples though
her burial dress, I let it slide. If you think that I'm gonna suffer anymore of your
shit with a smile now that were broken up, you're in for some serious fucking disappointment!

(Mallrats)

Brodie Bruce:

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it
at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing
for my relatives and all. But, the next week, he did it again--difference cat, same
results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a
week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And, I says to him, "Jesus, Walt,
what are you doing?! You know you're just going to get this cat stuck in your ass,
too." And, he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"

**********************************************************************
(Pump Up the Volume)
Mark Hunter:

Now, I'm depressed. Now, I feel like killing myself, but, luckily, I'm too depressed
to bother.

Mark Hunter: Feeling screwed up in a screwed up place, in a screwed up time, does not mean
that you are screwed up.

*******************************************************************
(The Ref)
Lloyd Chasseur:

You know what mom? You know what I'm gonna get you next Christmas? A big
wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can
climb up and nail yourself to it.

***********************************************************************
(Star Trek: First Contact)

The Borg: We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your
biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to
service us.

**********************************************************************
(Angel)

Doyle: See, you need to chat people up a bit more casual like, you know? "Hi,
what's your name? How's life treating you? What's that you say? Minions from
hell getting you down?"

***********************************************************************
(Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Buffy: It is a statistically impossible for a 16-year-old girl to unplug her phone.

Whistler: Y'know, raiding an Englishman's fridge is like dating a nun. You're never
going to get the good stuff.

*************************************************************************
(Charmed)

Prue: How come we can't fight the demon of cleanliness, Or housekeeping, or even
that really big bald guy, Mr.Clean. I would so totally take him on.

************************************************************************
(The Invisible Man series)

Darien: The Scottish philosopher, Balfour, said that "Destiny is the scapegoat
we make responsible for our crimes." He was probably right, too. This philosophy,
known as determinism, was best summed up by Doris Day with the words "Que
sera, sera." Now, I'm not saying she was right, but if it was between Doris and
the Scottish dude, I'd party with her any day."

Darien: The Nobel prize-winning smartass named George Bernard Shaw once
said that "Liberty means responsibility, that it why most men dread it." Try telling
that to someone who's been implanted with an artificial gland and subsequently
enslaved by a government agency.

Darien: Could you explain something for me? Now that I can go invisible, I can't
be let out of sight? How does that make any sense?

Darien: Liz's motto for goodbye was always "Faster's better." Kinda like tearing
off a band-aid. Of course if the wound beneath hasn't healed yet, nothing helps
except time. And time leaves a big nasty scar we call the past. And that's the
hardest prison to break free from, 'cause most of your life, you can't even see
the walls.

Darien: Thoreau said, "We are paid for our suspicions by finding what we suspected."
That's why paranoia can't protect you. 'Cause no matter how much you think
they're out to get you... you have no idea.

Hobbes: Leave it to you to out-depress a cemetary.

Darien: I was quoting Allianora.
Hobbes: I was correcting the quote.
Darien: Don't correct my quote.

**********************************************************************************

 

Absolutely amazing. I hesitated to watch this movie, but finally gave in. I was surprised to find myself so completely drawn into the story. The special effects, the storyline, everything. There is not a lot of "down time" in this movie. Unlike similar films, this one doesn't give you time to sigh a breath of relief. It's one eye-opener after another. I don't know how they were able to make the original film because there is so much about this story that necessitates having great special effects. Truly, without them, this movie would be very disappointing. Dakota Fanning was great. Although her character's screeching was horrible to hear, it was very realistic of the situation they are in. In fact, I found that the reactions of all the characters felt genuine. After the basic premise and the effects, you have a story of human nature. What is so disturbing is how accurate the portrayal of mankind is. Mostly, I want to impart to you that this movie just DOESN'T STOP. Finally, it leaves you with an acceptable ending. I can say no more. Watch this movie.



Since watching this movie, I really have the urge to read other fiction by H.G. Wells. H.P. Lovecraft also has crazy fiction. If you have seen and/or read Dagon (or his other stuff), you will know what I mean.



I have realized that my reviews have all been good. Well, I've seen a lot of good movies lately, oddly enough. However, I never reviewed Cursed. I'm not going to go in-depth about it--I don't want to relive it. This movie is a steaming pile of dogshit. Wes Craven's movies are never funny, nor scary. When I see his name attached, I don't watch it. If I am forced to watch it (or I didn't realize my imminent boredom until I saw his name in the beginning credits), I heave a black sigh. This was such an absolutely horrible movie and I can't believe millions were spent making this. Shitty effects, lame storyline. How about I just finish off with an example: The werewolf actually calls the main character a bitch (in a guttural werewolf voice) and gets pissed off when the main character insults them. It's just ridiculous crap that never should have been greenlit.

 

A moment of silence please.





The following are much beloved shows that died at the hands of merciless suits who didn't care about the fan base behind it....

Roswell--It had a great cast, original story and compelling drama/sci-fi. You never knew what would come out of Roswell next. The stories were very enthralling and drew you in. I also liked this show because it reminded my of high school, or rather, how I wished high school was.


Angel--The saddest one in my mind. Angel was dark, gothic, funny, and engaging. Every year was trumped by the next. Joss Whedon could surprise you with his comedy or break your heart with tragedy. It was a complex saga of a vampire champion, trying to redeem his soul. First, they killed off Doyle at episode 9, then they canceled the show after 5 seasons. The show did not have enough time to properly tie off loose ends and therefore, many people were displeased with the finale. I thought it was okay, considering their time constraint. Before they got the news, you could tell the show was really winding up for a big storyline involving Illyria (who I named my daughter after). Alas. There were so many more stories that could have been told on Angel.


Young Americans--If you are saying 'huh' that is because it was axed quickly. The WB ran it during the summer, and therefore, it got low ratings. This show was charming and sweet and had a lot of potential. I still have some of the episodes on tape, but it's a shame that this show didn't continue and left us with a semi-cliffhanger that will never be answered.


Grosse Point--very cute comedy about actors on a tv show similar to '90210'. They were all backstabbing and mean, except for 2 characters. It was funny. I'm not losing sleep over this one, but why can't the WB give anything half a chance? They let 7th Heaven and Felicity run FOREVER, but any decent show gets knocked off in a heartbeat.


Popular--shut up. It was a guilty pleasure and it was cute and funny.


Tarzan--I did not watch this when it originally aired, but seeing it now, I wish I had. At the same time, maybe it's better that I didn't get excited about another WB show that would get canceled faster than you can say 'canceled'.


Kingdom Hospital--A bit slow, but that's how Stephen King is and before you know it, you are completely enthralled with the story and MUST have more. Truly, you must watch a few episodes to get into it, but it's worth it.


Tru Calling--I would have listed this higher up, but I am not ranking these in order of calibur. Yet another series laid to rest in the graveyard of canceled shows before it's time. Despite Jason Presley, this was a phenomenal show that only got 1 1/2 seasons and also left us with a COMPLETE cliffhanger never to be answered. Tru's father used to have Jason Presley job and he knows that Tru's days rewind, etc., etc. And Harrison. I loved that character/actor so much. He was the coolest loser on tv.

Dark Shadows: The Revival Series--A sweeping drama set in both the present and the past. It had witches, vampires, and time travel. The characters were all great and the story just kept you begging for more. The WB (damn them) was supposed to have a new Dark Shadows series following this one, but unfortunately, it was canceled before it even aired the first episode.


Quantum Leap--I know it was sort of formulaic, but the premise was so interesting and it really delved deeper when they introduced another Leaper. I loved Al.

And the most recent: Arrested Development. It has been announced the FOX has canceled it despite a growing fan base and critical acclaim. A hilarious show with surprising humor that you can't help but laugh out loud.

My lament is over, mostly because I cannot think of any others at the moment. Now, you may go back to enjoy your currently-on-the-schedule programs and try not to get misty thinking about the graveyard of lost shows.


 

Everyone mentions the visually stunning aspect of Sin City. What I found even more evocative was the pulpy narrative of the characters as they make their way through the story. The simple way in which they speak draws you in, forces you to listen to their eloquent words. The prose runs over your mind and speaks to you. Seriously. Although I greatly appreciated the beautiful actors, and there are many big name actors here, it was the words that had the greatest impact. The story follows 3 different men, each theme captivating all by itself. The entire movie is dark and gritty. My kind of movie. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed watching this and how when it was over, I wanted more.



Each character seemed real, flesh and blood. Even when they weren't typically likeable, you rooted for them and still liked them. In fact, the most "unlikeable" character was the most enjoyable. The story just climbs higher and higher, until it reaches it's peak. You are left satisfied. Hehe. Just when you thought it couldn't get any more exciting or interesting, it does.



Visually. My, oh, my. Typically, I hate black and white, but this one surprised me. They colorize certain elements of the film. For example, Becky's eyes are bright blue and Goldie's hair is radiant blonde. The result is wonderful. Other aspects, visually, is the many different eras blended into one. It's very clever and engaging.



The characters. I, for one, wish I could be a character in this film, specifically Miho. You'll understand if you watch the movie. They are admittedly over-the-top, but they are strong, sure characters, and of course, beautiful. Most of them anyway. I love the whole deal with the women. They don't make them weak or whiny. Instead, they are intelligent and strong. I don't want to reveal too much about the movie, although even if I did you would still love it. Basically, when you see Robert Rodriguez' name as director, you know you are in for a supreme treat.

 

If you are looking for an Australian horror film about zombies mixed in with a little comedy, this is a movie for you. Each turn of the story becomes more and more strange. There is a fisherman with a seemingly endless supply of guns and ammo. In one point in the story, two guns actually pop out of somewhere in his backside. The guns popping out dramatically are part of the charm of the fisherman named Marion.



Then you've got the "Catch of the Day" beauty queen, who actually looks like a crack addict. She's the only 'straight' character in the movie, as opposed to everyone has who are 'second bananas'. She is the least goofy character, though she is quite stupid.



It's not chock full of comedy, but there are many moments that bring a smirk, such as Marion proclaiming: "They attacked me with their zombie fish!" That line is actually in the movie and no one thinks its weird.



In another scene, the characters have removed their clothes because they got acid rain on them and they are walking around the town in their underwear, save for Marion, who is buck ass naked.



As for the weirdness...there are so many weird turns, so many goofball parts. The characters talk with an Australian accent and slang (but not too heavily) and say words like "Oi!" That in itself is funny. Oh, and the best part--Marion has this gun that is actually three shotguns lined up together and he pulled one trigger and they shoot simutaneously. Very awesome guns in this movie.



Anyway, if you're in the movie for a strange movie like this, rent Undead.

 

I was pleasantly surprised about this movie. I hadn't heard much about it, and what I did hear was negative, plus Paris Hilton is in it. While starting out like a typical slasher film complete with hokey exposition and predictable characters, it did shock you many times by going a step further than you thought it would. I wouldn's say this was a scary movie or a creepy movie, but it was definitely cringe-worthy. I'm sorry to be vague, but I don't want to give anything away if you have not seen it.



I was disappointed that Paris Hilton did not die early and that her death was boring. She should have gotten the first death. That would have made me happy for weeks. However, several deaths did make me gasp in delight.



The opening scene sets the tone for the whole movie. The only word to describe it is 'disturbing'. Now, some things were typical of a horror movie, as though its a prerequisite, such as: running up the stairs when you should be running out the door, stopping too long and talking about crap while you know you are being chased and you're wasting time, not trying to hotwire a car and get out of there but instead they stay to see if their friends are alive. Sorry, but if you've been gone for hours and you went somewhere dangerous, I'm going to go ahead and assume that you're dead and save my own ass).



There is a great scene in the bonus features called 'Jennifer Killed'. That should have been in the movie. Really. Also in the bonus features is a gag reel. It's amusing, but Paris Hilton's scream is so dreadful...in a bad way. Whatever happened to the real screamers, like the girl in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre? That girl could belt out a chilling, gutural scream without breaking a sweat. What you see of Paris Hilton's screaming and "acting" in the final movie is horrible, but when you see the numerous takes before they settled on what they put in the movie, you're just wondering why they cast her. Oh yeah, because she's famous-for-nothing Paris Hilton. There's a scene in the movie where Paris is telling someone to stop filming her and I laughed out loud. Who does she think she's kidding?



If you can get over some farfetched things, i.e. A wax museum /completely/ made of wax, bringing someone you hate on a trip, and Paris Hilton not constantly complaining that she is in the woods, then this is a very cringe-worthy movie that is worth the $3 rental fee. I had the assumption going in that this would be "Oh, look at the creepy wax figures" kind of movie, but really it was more than that.



One last thing that bugged me though: Paris Hilton just /had/ to put her "trademark" phrase in the movie: "That's hot". I tried to pretend Paris Hilton was not in the movie and just enjoy it, and I did.


 

I have been in love with medieval fiction since I was in my mid-teens. I read Morte D' Arthur, Mists of Avalon, etc. One of the stories I loved the most was the story of Tristan & Isolde. Finally, someone else realized this story was more poetic, dramatic, tragic, and beautiful--WAY better than the classic Romeo & Juliet, and written a LONG time before William Shakespeare was even born. To this day, I am enamored with medieval fiction and I love to "live" in that world.



I'm not quite ready to do my review. I wanted to mention the wonderful tale of the love triangle of King Arthur, his Queen Guinevere, and his best friend and knight of the Round Table, Lancelot. Lancelot meets Guinevere prior to her becoming queen. They fall in love. His best friend and king, Arthur, marries her and takes her as his queen, and so Lancelot and Guinevere's love is forbidden. They continue to love each other as years pass. Arthur eventually realizes it, but accepts it--he loves his wife as well as his best friend Lancelot (though not in a pervy way). I just love stories about doomed lovers, their love feels more eloquent. Anyway, after years of trying to conceive an heir, Arthur invites Lancelot into the royal bed, in hopes that Lancelot can impregnate Guinevere. From there, things get rough for the three. I won't ruin it for you, if you don't know the rest. I haven't even mentioned Arthur having sex with his sister, Morgaine, creating the one and only heir to the throne--a product of incest. In some stories, Morgaine devised this plot, but in some versions, they are both innocent victims. They hadn't seen each other since they were children and were both masked during a ritual both had to complete. Morgaine realizes he is the father of her child later, but doesn't tell her brother. So, we've got a romantic and tragic love triangle, incest, backstabbing from other family members, and trying to manage keeping the Saxons at bay, etc.

So you know, this will more detailed than a typical review. So...Tristan is a knight of Arthur's. Tristan is from Cornwall. He is supposedly the best swordsman ever (don't stories always go like that--Lancelot is also supposed to be the best swordsman too).

Hmm...I'll start with the movie. Thinking Tristan is dead after a battle, his fellow knights send him on a boat and light in on fire. The fire dies and he is unscathed. He arrives across the way in Ireland and is found and tended to be Isolde. They fall in love and then he must make a hasty retreat back to Cornwall because the Irish warriors have discovered that he is there (they don't know specifically who he is). Isolde had lied about her identity.

Later, the King of Ireland offers his daughter, Isolde, as a prize in a tournament for the knights of Cornwall. Tristan goes and wins the tournament as his King's champion (his adoptive uncle Mark, whom he loves as a father and vice versa). Isolde is excited when Tristan wins, thinking she will get to marry him. She is crestfallen to learn that she will now be married to Tristan's uncle. Tristan did not realize that the King of Ireland's daughter was Isolde, as she had told him that her name was Bragnae and that she was a lady's maid. When he sees who he has won for Mark, he is also crestfallen, but it is too late. This will restore peace between Ireland and Cornwall, and also unite the tribes. There cannot be any reneging on this.

***In the stories, Tristan and Isolde accidentally drink a potion that would make the drinkers forever in love with the first person they viewed after drinking it. Well, this only further solidified that their love would always be as strong as it was. The potion was meant for Isolde and Marke, but Isolde and Tristan drank it on the voyage back to Cornwall.

So...Mark and Isolde marry and Tristan and Isolde are tormented by their love for each other. Tristan is bond my duty, loyalty, and love for his uncle, who truly ends up loving Isolde. They sneak around to see each other. In the movie, not much time passes, but in the stories, Tristan and Isolde get away with their trysts for years.

Sorry, back to the movie version...eventually they get caught and well...I'm not going to let you know the rest. Even if I did write the details, it doesn't detract from the story at all. It is still beautiful.

James Franco is a wonderful actor (you may remember him from the Spider-man movies as Peter's best friend or from Freaks and Geeks). He has not yet been given his due credit. I think he has a wonderful range. He doesn't look flawless, but is nonetheless attractive. He is very talented and well-deserving of the hefty role of Tristan. His face is exquisitely expressive when showing Tristan's torment of knowing his true love belongs to another. I don't know who the girl is (don't care). She's beautiful, she did a good job, but she really wasn't a stand-out. A handful of other actresses could have handled the role of Isolde with equal or better talent. Still, she is the other lead and did a good job.

****Some differences from the stories and the movie--in almost every story, Mark is a complete dickhead. The movie made Mark a noble and respectable man, one who loved Isolde, who treated her like a precious treasure, who was kind and fair and just a wonderful human being. He lost a hand saving Tristan as a child. He was not able to save Tristan's parents, but he managed to save Tristan and raise him like a son, alongside his sister's son (Mark's nephew), Melot. I really like that they gave the story more depth by making Mark a good man.

Some other differences: 1) the story was stretched out over several years, 2) Mark was pissed when he found out about Tristan & Isolde only because of how it would look to his men--that he couldn't control his own wife, 3) Tristan was sent deliberately to Isolde, his men knowing he was alive and knew that Isolde was the "best bestest healer"--if he had any chance, it was Isolde. They disguised Tristan as an Irishman and delivered him to Isolde in Ireland, 4) In some stories, Isolde's /father/ is dead, and her mother is the Queen of Ireland. This varies from story to story. There are more differences, but too many to mention because there are so many versions of the tale of Tristan and Isolde.

I don't know how many guys would like this movie or deem it a "chick flick". Unlike The Notebook, it certainly is not going to induce tears. However, it is very powerful and beautiful. It is a tangled skein (thanks Piers Anthony) of a sense of loyalty, duty, honor, true love, love of a king, love of an uncle/father figure, love of your countrymen, torment, deception, forbidden but undeniable love.

Tristan is involved in other Camelot stories, too, but this is like his "feature story"--his own tale, really. It's an offshoot of Arthur's stories, just like The Green Knight is an offshoot. If you like this movie, read Rosalind Miles' books (a trilogy) on Tristan & Isolde. But, to cap off this "review"--Romeo and Juliet have NOTHING on Tristan & Isolde. This isn't a couple of whiny, rebellious 13 year olds who are affected by puppy love. There are more elements to Tristan + Isolde--to be together could mean a nation at war. Their actions affect more than a family, they affect their fellow countrymen, their love could start a war and so much more. See...pure, true love that is denied...the torment...it will always be one of my favorites and I am so grateful that someone finally made this into a movie. It's too bad it didn't do too well in theatres, but neither did The Notebook, and now EVERYONE has seen it and cried. Hopefully, rental numbers will go up for Tristan & Isolde.

At the same time, I liked having this story all to myself. I have never met anyone else who'd heard the story. They were always interested after I had told them some of what this very complicated story entailed, but...Well, it was just my own thing. I'm having a very hard time explaining this. When Mists of Avalon was finally made into a mini-movie on TNT, I was happy too, but at the same time, I felt a little protective of what had been a much-loved book that I've read 3-4 times. Also, you nitpick all the things that got left out. Once someone has seen the movie, no one reads the book, which is long, but SO much better. Jason has watched (and loved) Mists of Avalon--by the way, Sara, I want my dvd of Mists of Avalon back, please; yes, you still have it. Anyway, I'm trying to stop feeling selfish about my movies and encourage others to read the book and watch the movie. I wouldn't have bothered to write this lengthy blog if I didn't feel it was worth it. Either I absolutely HATE a movie and review it, or I absolutely LOVE a movie and review. I need to think up my own slogan, like "5 out of 5 stars" or "two thumbs up". Any suggestions??