Popcorn and Twizzlers

(Boston Public)
Harry Senate:


Thanks. Uh...what a turnout. Thanks for choosing me. The idea of being
able to serve..uh...Well, of all the causes to take up...AIDS, cancer, hunger,
poverty...I've always felt there was something special about people who
commit themselves to guns. Anyone, I suppose, could contribute to a shelter
or help the needy but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms.
And you know what, we need people like you. Our country is getting a bad
rap just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly--shooting people. The
United States...this is where men live. Australia? All their stupid bragging
about how tough they are in the outback? They get about 15 gun homicides a
year, what the hell is that? We get 10,000. The Japanese are even more
pathetic. In 1999, for kids between 15 and 19, they didn't have one handgun
murder. Not one! We had over 5,000. Our teenagers are tough. But it can't
happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands and for that we need
committed, good people like all of you. We got these idiots in Washington who
think it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles. The stupid Democrats think
we should have 10-day waiting periods. Well, what happens if you need to kill
someone today? Next thing, the government will try to crack down on incest
and we won't be able to breed future N.R.A. members. I mean, we're talking
about the toothless illiterates that make this country great. This is America...Get a gun.

********************************************************************
(Army of Darkness)
Ashley J. 'Ash' Williams:

Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick!
It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can
find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was
made in Grand Rapids, Michigan; retails for about one hundred nine, ninety-five.
It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop
smart, shop S-Mart!

****************************************************************
(National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
Clark W. Griswold:

I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from
his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane, with all the other rich
people, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head. And,
I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying,
no good, rotten, floor-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred,
overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless,
heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of
monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holly Shit! Where's the Tylenol?

************************************************************************
(Fight Club)
Tyler Durden:

[I] see in Fight Club, the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see
all this potential. And, I see squandering. God damn it! An entire generation
pumping gas, waiting tables: slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing
car and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're
the middle children of history, man--no purpose or place. We have no great war.
No great depression. Our great war's a spiritual war. Our great depression is our
lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires
and movie gods and rock stars . . . but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact
and we're very, very pissed off.

*************************************************************************
(Fight Club)
Tyler Durden:

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're
not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not you fucking
khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

*****************************************************************************
(Mallrats)
Rene Mosier:

I have always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you asked
me to do a striptease to the theme from Mighty Mouse, I said okay. When we
were at that hotel prom night, and you asked me to sleep underneath the bed in
case your mother burst in, I did it. And, even when we were at my grandmother's
funeral and you told most of my relatives that you could see her nipples though
her burial dress, I let it slide. If you think that I'm gonna suffer anymore of your
shit with a smile now that were broken up, you're in for some serious fucking disappointment!

(Mallrats)

Brodie Bruce:

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it
at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing
for my relatives and all. But, the next week, he did it again--difference cat, same
results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a
week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And, I says to him, "Jesus, Walt,
what are you doing?! You know you're just going to get this cat stuck in your ass,
too." And, he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"

**********************************************************************
(Pump Up the Volume)
Mark Hunter:

Now, I'm depressed. Now, I feel like killing myself, but, luckily, I'm too depressed
to bother.

Mark Hunter: Feeling screwed up in a screwed up place, in a screwed up time, does not mean
that you are screwed up.

*******************************************************************
(The Ref)
Lloyd Chasseur:

You know what mom? You know what I'm gonna get you next Christmas? A big
wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can
climb up and nail yourself to it.

***********************************************************************
(Star Trek: First Contact)

The Borg: We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your
biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to
service us.

**********************************************************************
(Angel)

Doyle: See, you need to chat people up a bit more casual like, you know? "Hi,
what's your name? How's life treating you? What's that you say? Minions from
hell getting you down?"

***********************************************************************
(Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Buffy: It is a statistically impossible for a 16-year-old girl to unplug her phone.

Whistler: Y'know, raiding an Englishman's fridge is like dating a nun. You're never
going to get the good stuff.

*************************************************************************
(Charmed)

Prue: How come we can't fight the demon of cleanliness, Or housekeeping, or even
that really big bald guy, Mr.Clean. I would so totally take him on.

************************************************************************
(The Invisible Man series)

Darien: The Scottish philosopher, Balfour, said that "Destiny is the scapegoat
we make responsible for our crimes." He was probably right, too. This philosophy,
known as determinism, was best summed up by Doris Day with the words "Que
sera, sera." Now, I'm not saying she was right, but if it was between Doris and
the Scottish dude, I'd party with her any day."

Darien: The Nobel prize-winning smartass named George Bernard Shaw once
said that "Liberty means responsibility, that it why most men dread it." Try telling
that to someone who's been implanted with an artificial gland and subsequently
enslaved by a government agency.

Darien: Could you explain something for me? Now that I can go invisible, I can't
be let out of sight? How does that make any sense?

Darien: Liz's motto for goodbye was always "Faster's better." Kinda like tearing
off a band-aid. Of course if the wound beneath hasn't healed yet, nothing helps
except time. And time leaves a big nasty scar we call the past. And that's the
hardest prison to break free from, 'cause most of your life, you can't even see
the walls.

Darien: Thoreau said, "We are paid for our suspicions by finding what we suspected."
That's why paranoia can't protect you. 'Cause no matter how much you think
they're out to get you... you have no idea.

Hobbes: Leave it to you to out-depress a cemetary.

Darien: I was quoting Allianora.
Hobbes: I was correcting the quote.
Darien: Don't correct my quote.

**********************************************************************************